Forgiven and Forgiving

THEME: If we are truly forgiven, we will be forgiving. As we forgive others, we reveal the forgiving heart of God.

Matthew 18:23-35 23"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. 29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' 30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Last week we talked about the importance of loving God with our whole heart and of committing our whole hearts to our friends and spouses. We also saw the danger of taking back pieces of our heart because of hurts or unmet expectations. Relationships cannot grow or stay strong if we build walls between ourselves and God or between ourselves and another person.

But hurts and disappointments happen in all relationships, and in order to maintain healthy relationships forgiveness is necessary. And that is a problem for a lot of people. Forgiveness can be a real hang up. Some people find it almost impossible to do.

Object Lesson: Many friends; give them each a heart; tell them to do something like stand on one leg; when they fail take back the heart. No forgiveness = no friends.:

Today I want to look at different aspects of forgiveness and how we can learn to be forgiving.

The basis for us to forgive is that God has forgiven us. We could never be saved unless we were forgiven. The only way we can enjoy a relationship with God is because He forgave us.

When we get disappointed with God we need to forgive Him, not because God is wrong, but because we need to release Him from our expectations. We need to see that He is God and His way is best.

We need to forgive our friends and our mate or there will be no restoration. But you may be thinking, No way! I've been hurt too much and too deeply. I can't forgive. But remember without forgiveness we will drift apart. We soon don't know each other's needs and desires. We no longer trust. We don't even recognize the other person as the friend we once knew.

So maybe we are looking at the wrong person. We should be looking at Jesus. He forgave us and saved us. We have his mind. We should be seeing the person as Jesus sees them. Think of yourself before you were saved. Think of the worst thing you ever did, your thoughts, your actions. Jesus forgave you. He forgave that other person also. So should you.

Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Matthew 6:12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

You may be thinking, but I am right. I haven't done anything wrong. That may be true, but so was Jesus. He never did anything wrong, but He even forgave the people who crucified Him. Remember He did it for each of us.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Christ forgave us; then we were released to repent and be changed. Forgive the person who has offended you. Release them to God, to repentance and real change through His Holy Spirit.

You may say, I really want to forgive, but I can't. That's right; you can't but Christ lives in you. Christ in you can forgive; in fact, He has already done it. Remember, we not only have the mind of Christ, we also have a heart like Jesus. Surrender your heart to His.

Our spirit receives new life at the point of salvation. Our minds, however, require continued renewal (2 Corinthians 10:5). Romans 12:2 teaches that we are not to conform to the behaviors and customs of this world but to allow the Lord to change us as our minds are renewed in Him. Our minds will replay the past, making it seem not only unforgettable, but unforgivable.

God's Word speaks differently. He has forgiven and does not remember. The past no longer exists with God. We can have His mind.

Now you are probably thinking, but how can I trust that person? They have hurt me so many times. I am afraid they will hurt me again. Yes, you are right; they probably will hurt you again. To love with a whole heart means to be open to hurt. That person who wounded you is not perfect, but release them to God. Then trust God to guard your heart. Remember it already belongs to Him. You gave your heart to God when you trusted Jesus for salvation. He was able to cleanse your heart and change you. He is able to take care of it now.

Jesus taught His disciples to forgive. Matthew 18:21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Peter was willing to forgive, but He put a limit on his forgiveness. Jesus took the limits off. Aren't you glad He did? What if you could only sin seven times before God refused to forgive you? Most of us wouldn't last a day.

People will hurt and disappoint us, but God can heal the hurt and bring us joy through relationships we had given up on.

Great power comes from our decision to love people despite how their actions have wittingly or unwittingly affected our lives. For the inevitable hurts that come from others we need the grace of God to forgive. Hurts will continue to come, but we do not have to be controlled by them. What may seem impossible to us is easy for God. Forgiveness is nothing less than a willingness to lay down our hurts, expectations and rights for God's greater purposes.

You are a free person. Jesus has set you free. But when you refuse to forgive, you become a prisoner again. Unforgiveness puts us back in a prison of bitterness and, yes, it is sin. The worst kind of prison is the prison of an unforgiving heart.

So the important first step in the process of forgiving is to be forgiven by God. Trust Him with your life, your future and your relationships. Love Him with your whole heart. Be filled with and guided by His Holy Spirit instead of by hurt, disappointment and unforgiveness. In this way we can have the heart and mind of Christ who will guide us to love and forgive with our whole heart, with divine wisdom and with God's mercy.

Let forgiveness become a habit of your heart and mind. Let it be your first reaction, your automatic response when you are hurt. Make it a conscious decision to forgive from this day forward.

Remember the undeserved forgiveness you have received through God's heart of love. If we are to forgive one another we must be satisfied with God's justice and not seek our own. God is our perfect example for forgiveness.

Ephesians 2:4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions?it is by grace you have been saved.

God's love is the key to forgiving one another.